Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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