If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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