that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Randomize