In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
