Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
