whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
