"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize