office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
