i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
