Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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