Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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