"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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