Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
