well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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