but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
