were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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