I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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