how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
