the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
