It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
