so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
