Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
