i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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