So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize