Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
