Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
