I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
someone owes me an orgasm
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
