Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize