I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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