yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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