We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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