I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
