note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
