Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
