so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
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