By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You ruined the universe
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