wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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