i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
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