Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
