arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
