Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
