Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Someone signed my nipple.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
