Texts From Last Night

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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?

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  (804): Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no? http://tfl.nu/9ccj
  Replies (12) Good night (990) Bad night (568)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.

  (1-229): View more from Georgia

  You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?

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  (229): this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair. (1-229): You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture? http://tfl.nu/5k8s
  Replies (55) Good night (1259) Bad night (4161)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.

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  (703): Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out. http://tfl.nu/rmo5
  Replies (7) Good night (3400) Bad night (1019)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.

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  (440): he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life. http://tfl.nu/ggva
  Replies (14) Good night (8618) Bad night (1058)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.

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  (425): He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that. http://tfl.nu/0n60
  Replies (9) Good night (2951) Bad night (879)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now

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  (541): It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now http://tfl.nu/avxl
  Replies (7) Good night (938) Bad night (966)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?

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  (773): which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend? http://tfl.nu/b2t3
  Replies (12) Good night (987) Bad night (602)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....

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  (253): Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse.... http://tfl.nu/k31y
  Replies (6) Good night (748) Bad night (307)
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  (646): View more from New York

  I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!

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  (646): I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me! http://tfl.nu/zxm1
  Replies (6) Good night (525) Bad night (510)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?

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  (214): Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!? http://tfl.nu/oye4
  Replies (4) Good night (837) Bad night (388)
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  (714): View more from California

  Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life

  (714): View more from California

  It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me

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  (714): Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life (714): It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me http://tfl.nu/94hn
  Replies (3) Good night (987) Bad night (471)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off

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  (518): Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off http://tfl.nu/hbwx
  Replies (2) Good night (813) Bad night (307)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home

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  (412): i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home http://tfl.nu/8rrw
  Replies (6) Good night (401) Bad night (348)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine

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  (615): Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine http://tfl.nu/rjex
  Replies (2) Good night (317) Bad night (573)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there

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  (215): I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there http://tfl.nu/ipty
  Replies (1) Good night (405) Bad night (141)

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