ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
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im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
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Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
lol hangovers are for mortals.