I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
only if we run a train.
high people should be assigned attendants
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out