Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken

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(805): saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken http://tfl.nu/k7ra

Replies (20) Good night (745) Bad night (3556)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning

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(803): Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning http://tfl.nu/hoox

Replies (25) Good night (4706) Bad night (1218)
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(415): View more from California

I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground

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(415): I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground http://tfl.nu/kjbx

Replies (7) Good night (3220) Bad night (1014)
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(707): View more from California

I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..

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(707): I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution.. http://tfl.nu/dcg9

Replies (18) Good night (4603) Bad night (1559)
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(914): View more from New York

something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..

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(914): something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined.. http://tfl.nu/wloj

Replies (13) Good night (930) Bad night (5083)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.

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(860): you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you. http://tfl.nu/qv5y

Replies (7) Good night (1224) Bad night (2542)
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(714): View more from California

Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.

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(714): Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare. http://tfl.nu/8fck

Replies (1) Good night (1357) Bad night (616)
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(360): View more from Washington

DIN'T JUSGE NE.

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(360): DIN'T JUSGE NE. http://tfl.nu/13q1

Replies (15) Good night (4352) Bad night (1000)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship

(617): View more from Massachusetts

Wait

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(617): I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship (617): Wait http://tfl.nu/k9zo

Replies (5) Good night (2842) Bad night (1232)
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(330): View more from Ohio

My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.

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(330): My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out. http://tfl.nu/tebu

Replies (11) Good night (1587) Bad night (702)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm hungry

(1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex

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(215): I'm hungry (1-215): Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex http://tfl.nu/pt2l

Replies (4) Good night (2135) Bad night (580)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)

(1-803): View more from South Carolina

Did you watch the carolina game tonight?

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(803): i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;) (1-803): Did you watch the carolina game tonight? http://tfl.nu/ae37

Replies (18) Good night (2418) Bad night (1034)
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(607): View more from New York

I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.

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(607): I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year. http://tfl.nu/ajj5

Replies (4) Good night (1400) Bad night (513)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming

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(615): Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming http://tfl.nu/odmb

Replies (4) Good night (1396) Bad night (481)
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(217): View more from Illinois

Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?

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(217): Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices? http://tfl.nu/ss4x

Replies (0) Good night (815) Bad night (338)

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