you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much