How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
