I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
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She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
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i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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