Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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