is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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