Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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