I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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