what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
