Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
