I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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