I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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