I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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