i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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