so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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