fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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