we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
