Plan B is the new Plan A
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
